Special Apples

This young man comes in to a patent office with some special apples.He walks into the office and talks to the manager.He says "I have some special apples that I would like to patent." What's so special about those apples, asks the manager? Well these apples have different tastes, go ahead try one.

The manager bytes one and says wow, that tastes like an orange,yep, well turn it around.The manager turns the apple around and bites into it and says," wow", that tasted like grapes.The young man then says try another one.He picks one up and bites into it and says ,"wow that tasted like mango."Well turn it around says ,the young man. The manager turns it around and bites into the apple and says," damn that tasted like strawberries.

The manager was exited and says ,ok, lets see what else you got now, that was amazing.The young man says, I got one that tastes like Pussy,The manager looked at the young man and smiled, really? Ok let me try that one.So the young man gives him the apple, and the manager bites into the apple, and starts chewing, before he could swallow he spits the un chewed apple out, and with a disturbed look on his face he says,"That tasted like shit".The young man looked at him and said, "well turn it around".
Joke by Rob Foster

Joke

* A policeman was interviewing 3 candidates who were getting trained to
become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows
the first candidate a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.


"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first candidate answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he
only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the
picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous
response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second candidate and
asks him "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second candidate smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matterwith you two?

Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his
side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third candidate
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him? He quickly adds, Think hard before giving me a stupid
answer."

The candidate looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The
suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know
himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I
check this file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his
computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't
believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good
work! How were you able to make such an acute observation?"


"That's easy," the candidates replied. "He can't wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear .

The Trainers special Horse

A champion jockey is to give an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says: "Everything you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to scream, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!" Really loud in the horse's ear. Providing you do so, you are good. "

The jockey thinks the coach is crazy, but promises to call the command. The race begins, and they approach the first hurdle. The Jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse plunges directly through the middle of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed whispers' Aleeee ooop "in the horse's ear. The same thing happens - the horse plunges directly through the middle of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey said: "It is not good, I have to do", and screams: "ALLLEEE OOOP!" Really loud. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump without problems. This implies for the rest of the race, but because of problems that were previously only finished third horse.

The trainer is moist and the jockey asked what went wrong. The jockey replied: "There is nothing wrong with me - it's the bloody horse. What is he - deaf or something?"

The coach replied: "Deaf? DEAF? He is not deaf - he is BLIND!"